I thought I’d finally get around to using this thing for something other than endless reblogs and post some of my silly toy soldiers. If my shit is so terrible that it makes your eyes bleed, or maybe you have some bizarre moral objection to the recreational use of paintbrushes, then #ssspectrepaints is the tag to blacklist. I’m not very prolific, I promise.
Context: Paladin was being stalked by an assassin from his backstory and no one rolled high enough perception to notice so the assassin snuck up and attacked while the party (level 17) was arguing with a shopkeeper.
DM (me): Paladin, 24 to hit against you.
*entire table goes dead silent as they realize there’s an attack happening*
Paladin: …hits.
DM: *rolls damage* Okay that’s… wait. *realizes that assassin rogues have Assassinate and Death Strike at this level* Uh, can you roll a CON save for me?
DM: *does math then sits there silently for a second* …hey Paladin how many hit points do you have?
*entire table begins to panic*
Paladin: *nervously* 149.
DM: Fuck… okay so you take 188 damage and are now poisoned and unconscious. Everybody roll initiative.
*enitre table loses their shit completely and it’s ten minutes before I get them to calm down enough to get an initiative order*
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